Grist for the Mill
Thursday, March 30, 2006
 
So we're at the end of the first week since the Bug arrived and things seem to be coming along swimmingly. Yes, that's right -- I said "swimmingly." That's the way I talk. Our language is blessed with countless synonyms, so it seems like a waste to not use as many of them as possible.

But I digress, or in other words, I've strayed off the point. The point is that the Bug seems like a good candidate for the title of Easy Baby. She eats well, burps well and when properly swaddled into a baby burrito (or Babyrito™), sleeps well. I've heard second babies (yes, this is my third, but it's been thirteen years since Young Master Fugate was a baby) tend to be easier. I suppose it's because the parents are more relaxed and pragmatic about the whole thing.

It's not until you're chasing a toddler around that you realize just how low-maintenance a newborn actually can be. You rarely have to struggle to get them to eat. They sleep 20 hours a day (just not quite as many in a row as you might like). They stay where you put them. And, they're extremely light and portable. Hell, they fit into just about anything.
 
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Random thoughts and humorous observations from standup comedian Matt Fugate