It seems X-Rays won't be able to detect shoes with explosive liquids in them.A new radio commercial:
MAN #1: Boy, this sure is a long wait through airport security, but you seem to be doing just fine.
MAN #2: Hey man, I'm jellin'
TSA GUARD: Excuse me, sir. Would you step over here please?
Had lunch at St. Jude's Sweet Corn Festival in Cedar Rapids yesterday. It's basically a mini-carnival right there on the church grounds. It's amusing to me that it's actually rife with sin. The Seven Deadly, as a matter of fact:
- The festival crawling with scantily-clad girls:
lust.
- That time when you think, "hey check out the hottie," and it turns out to be a dude:
anger.
- The midway, complete with people trying to win the best possible prizes for as little money as possible:
avarice.
- Even after seeing other people lose repeatedly, you still think you can beat the game:
pride.
- In most cases, of course, you wind up with a choice between a blue-dyed rabbit's foot, a rubber pencil and a Def Leppard keychain from the shelf of shame:
more anger.
- Hot dogs, chilli dogs, sloppy joes, pulled pork sandwiches, baked beans, cole slaw, pie a la mode, and three ears of corn (dipped in butter, natch) for a buck:
gluttony.
- Seeing that the guy next to you got a bigger ear than you did:
envy.
- Finally returning to the hotel and collapsing into a food coma:
sloth.
It's not fund-raising -- it's entrapment!
Separated at Birth?Michael Chertoff:
John Waters:
If only SPY magazine was still publishing...